Somehow despite living with this dog for seven years, we just now learned that chirping smoke detectors traumatize her. And of course we had two of them begin chirping within 24 hours of each other. And of course they began chriping in the middle of the night (because when else?) And of course I didn’t have new batteries on hand. And of course you can’t just pull the batteries out because there’s some sort of backup battery in these things that causes them to keep chirping. And of course rechargeable batteries don’t seem to work.

The only way she’ll calm down is to sit in my lap for an hour or so — after I manage to get the chirping to stop.